Mastering the art of the "DNF": Be a turtle

Actual picture from my office.

There is a famous scene in the first season of Ted Lasso where Ted tells one of his players to, “be a goldfish” after he makes a mistake in a game. Coach Lasso explains that the goldfish is the happiest animal on earth because it only has a, “ten-second memory”. Although this isn’t scientifically accurate (yes- I looked it up!), the idea is an important one. During a game/match/race or any other challenge, you have to move-on quickly when a shot is missed or a fumble happens. As long as there is time left in the game or miles to run, gains can still happen and success can still take place. That miracle shot or the “come-from-behind” finish in the last 400 meters, is why sports is one of the best demonstrations of humanity. It exhibits the perseverance of the athlete, the collectivism from the crowds and the realization of a dream achieved. 

Personally, I love the goldfish metaphor but only when the athlete is still in the chaos of the pursuit. Adapting quickly on the clock (forgetting the last mistake- like the goldfish) will help the athlete maintain focus and continue their commitment to the race or game. There is a time for self-examination but not when the clock is still ticking.

Turtle-time

Sometimes... we don't win the game. We throw the racket, vomit on 5th Ave (cheers to my NYC marathon) and even take-off the bib. In these moments, the quick, “forget-it and move-on” goldfish-mentality is not always helpful (or possible). These are the moments when athletes schedule appointments with me. They are grappling with a loss and feel like they have nowhere to go. In these moments, I tell my athletes that I don't want them to be a goldfish....I want them to be a turtle.

Let me explain a bit more…

A goldfish moves on quickly. A turtle carries its shell (or armor as I like to reframe!) and continues towards their destination slowly and with patience. Similarly, I actually want my athletes to process their DNFs (Did Not Finish) and then apply their learnings towards the relentless pursuit of their dreams. This reflection period is not about beating yourself up over what happened. It’s to carry the experience forward. To take the lessons, the mistakes, the disappointment, and the growth with you into whatever comes next.

DNFs happen to every athlete, and the mental anguish that can follow can be immense. For the everyday runner, a DNF can mean facing family, friends, coworkers (who helped contribute to that coveted charity spot)….and even facing your kids, who patiently waited for you to finish that “long run” before you could finally take them to Urban Air or Slick City (kill me).  

And for my elite athletes, the ones who devote their lives to the pursuit of excellence in the sport, they might start to mourn what they believe might be the end to their dream. They have to face sponsors, coaches and even that random fan on the street. It can feel like they have been hit by a massive wave of confrontation and it feels awful… like when salt water gets in your eyes and sand in your swimsuit and everyone is watching how you handle it.

This is when we need to be turtle! A turtle does not expect to get to its destination (or goal) quickly. It keeps its focus on the horizon and moves forward constantly adjusting to obstacles while still heading towards their destination. The turtle remembers the rocky terrain and the unexpected predator …but armed with its shell, it continues-on ever persistent towards their goal.

Part of embracing the turtle lifestyle is learning to set long-term expectations rather than short-term ones. You don’t want to expect yourself to win a particular race. Instead, you want to stay grounded in what is happening in the moment and focus on executing each part of the race to the best of your ability. The best athletes enjoy the process of playing, not just the results. That failed attempt is not a verdict on your ability. It is simply a data point and an opportunity to learn something about yourself, your preparation, or your approach. Use that information to propel you toward the next attempt. 

Expectations for ourselves are only appropriate (and helpful) when they are connected to our bigger dreams and goals. Maybe your long-term expectation is that you will one day stand on the podium of a 100K. If that doesn’t happen at Javalena this year, that’s okay. The goal doesn’t disappear just because the timeline changes. Keep your eyes on the horizon, adjust the plan when necessary, and keep moving forward. The turtle doesn't have a set timeline, but it knows that they will continue-on for however long it takes.

The reason why it can be especially hard for ultra runners to be turtles is because of the time and preparation required between each race. Baseball players compete in an environment with multiple games a week- or even per day. A defeat can be shed with the distraction of the next game. This constant opportunity can help an athlete feel like they have more control over their destiny. For ultra runners, they might have 3-4 races over the course of 14 months.. This is a lot of time to think, process, ruminate, spiral etc. I don’t deny that this poses challenges, but ultra running has never operated under the guise of being easy. In fact, the pursuit of a long or multi-day event requires similar preparation often undergone by Olympic athletes. Their training is extensive for very intentional and infrequent opportunities. 

Time between events requires patience, commitment and joy. Those who are able to recover from the DNF are continuing to execute the long-term expectations they have for themselves. They don’t consider themselves victims of the last few miles they ran but rather have the self-belief in themselves to accomplish the larger goal. They are the ultimate turtles! Grinding their way towards the horizon with patience.