Do the Easy Stuff Well: Therapist Advice for Young Women

This is Part 2 (part 1 is here) of my series inspired by Scott Galloway and his advice for young men. After hearing his perspective, I decided to create my own list... this time, for young women.

This series is a reflection of what I’ve learned through years of working as an adolescent and young adult therapist. I’ve always appreciated Scott Galloway’s direct, no-nonsense style. It’s refreshingly honest. My hope is that this version offers the same kind of clarity and practical guidance, but from the lens of a therapist who works with young women every day.

Advice #2: Get the Easy Stuff Right

This one is borrowed almost directly word for word from Scott  but adapted for women.

If you want to be well-liked and successful, start by getting the basics right…the easy stuff. That means practicing real self-care and showing responsibility.

And when I say self-care, I don’t mean spa days, expensive skincare, or canceling plans to binge-watch Netflix. I mean showering, dressing thoughtfully, staying organized, and creating routines that support the life you want to lead.

Look Prepared. Be Prepared.

It’s a lie when people say appearances don’t matter, they do. But it’s not about being trendy or mastering contour makeup. It’s about intention. Look like you belong where you are… because you do.

If you want to be taken seriously at soccer practice, look like you care. That means hair pulled back, jewelry off, cleats, shin guards, socks all packed the night before. If you want to do well in school, show up like you planned to be there. That means no pajamas or stained clothes… AND you need to shower. You don’t need to wear a pencil skirt (please, no), but choose something that helps you feel confident and alert. For me this was always jeans, vans and a t-shirt. For others this was a sundress and flats. 

It’s not about fashion rules…it’s about respect. For yourself, and for what you’re doing.

Be On Time. Be Consistent.

We all have that one friend who’s always late. The one you have to apologize for: “Sorry, she just takes forever to get ready.” Stop being that person. It’s not cute or endearing. Chronic lateness signals that you don’t value other people’s time, and to potential romantic partners, it often reads as high maintenance. If you like to take your time getting ready, start earlier.

Consistency, too, is becoming rare. Everywhere you look, there are memes and TikToks about canceling plans and “loving it.” But consistency equals dependability and that’s how people learn to trust you. You won’t build meaningful relationships, become a team captain, or be offered real opportunities if you’re known for flaking.

Ask yourself: Would my friends call me if they were in trouble? If they had that, “one phone call from jail” would I be considered? If the answer is no, it’s time to change that. Relationships are reciprocal. Show up for people. That’s how you build a life filled with people who show up for you.

Stop Complaining.

I debated making this its own post, but I think it belongs here as it i’s part of changing your mindset in a small way on a day to day basis. 

If you hate something, it’s normal to want to find people who feel the same way. Misery loves company, and sometimes commiseration can feel like connection. But it gets old fast. Before you know it, you’re part of a group that spends more time complaining about how unfair life is… such as-how “Stacy gets all the guys” or “Mr. Smith never grades on a curve”.

If you spend your energy complaining, you’ll become tiresome and, frankly, boring. You will also find yourself spending an excessive amount of time on something that is unproductive and a waste of time.

If you want to change something, look for solutions…or, align yourself with people who’ve already found the right method, outlook or system. And this includes kindness. Stop complaining about Stacy and ask yourself if she’s someone you might actually want to be friends with. When you tear down others who seem to have more, it doesn’t make you relatable..it makes you look insecure and untrustworthy. So stop wasting time resenting people who are doing well. Learn from them. Compliment them. Be around them. That’s how you grow.