Want to Be Liked? Be Interesting: Therapist Advice for Young Women

Inspired by Scott Galloway and his advice for young men, I decided to create my own list- but...this time.. for young women.

I don’t have the asset portfolio that Mr. Galloway does, and I certainly don’t speak as eloquently, but what I do have is nearly a decade of experience being trusted with the inner worlds and secrets of teenagers and young adults.

As a licensed therapist in Denver, Colorado, I’ve had the privilege of working with young women from every walk of life...from those who seem to have it all together (spoiler: they don’t) to those who can barely get out of bed for class. I’ve helped them navigate eating disorders, self-harm (which is heartbreakingly common), and the difficult process of building a life filled with purpose and opportunity.

This piece shares the first and perhaps the most frequent piece of advice I give. It’s the start of a series I’ll be sharing in the coming weeks.

Advice #1- How to become popular

If you want to be popular- well-liked, sought-after, magnetic, have "rizz"- you need to become an interesting person.

What do I mean by that? Glad you asked.

This idea is as old as I am, but it’s never been more relevant. In an age where everyone is over-sharing online, and quick “snaps” of half-faces and locations pass for connection, the real secret is this: be busy enough in your real life that you don’t have time to maintain a Snap streak.

When you’re too available- always online, always responding…you stop being interesting. Being constantly accessible on every app signals that you don’t have passions, hobbies, or purpose.

The most popular girls I went to school with? They were rarely around. They were athletes traveling for tournaments, or obsessed with skiing, or pouring themselves into something that mattered. It didn’t really matter what it was, but they had something else that transcended our school and its inner politics/social stratosphere. 

These girls dated outside our local high school crowd and came home with stories worth listening to. They had friends from different countries and cultures. They saw more of the world. And because of that, everyone…including the so-called popular guys, wanted their attention. They weren’t “flavors of the week.” They were the ones worth chasing.

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to be a prodigy or an influencer. You just need to be involved. Try out for the exchange program. Volunteer. Become a mentor. Get a part-time job doing something that excites you. You won’t miss out. The social media loop will keep spinning, pushing some people out and pulling others temporarily in. But likes don’t equal fulfillment; they fade as fast as the last perfectly curated post. 

Meanwhile, the girl who posts constant selfies and doom-scrolls her evenings away is trapped in a world of clichés and recycled memes. She has no real experiences to back up her opinions, and her relationships (built on likes and social media metrics) won’t last.

That doesn’t mean you should skip every social event. Go to the party... just not every single one. When you show up, it’ll mean something. You’ll be the person people are genuinely excited to see.

And no, I’m not saying you should delete your social media. But make people work to know you. Be too busy doing interesting things to post constantly… and when you do post, make it about something you love, something you’re proud of, something real.

That’s what makes you popular.